RP:The Ochanimizu Files; Tenma's Therapy Sessions

[Astro Forever]

Tenma: And then... she closed her eyes, and never said another word. I had always been a loner, but it was only at that moment that I truly understood what loneliness was. I realized how much I would miss her. I was empty. And I had once again completely failed at protecting those I loved, despite my promise after my father died.

O'Shay: You didn't talk about this to anyone?

Tenma: Who would have cared about it anyway?

O'Shay: Me? Your other collegues?

Tenma rolled his eyes.

O'Shay: Why not?

Tenma: I never felt I belong with the rest of you. I had a clear vision of what I wanted to achieve, but you all always had doubts. Why would it have been any different on this?

O'Shay: We're speaking about humans, not robots.

Tenma: But humans and robots can influence each others... That's what you are all failing to understand.

[Prettywitchiusaka]

O'Shay sighs breifly

O; Alright, you may have a point there. But I personally think you're just being too judgemental.

T; I doubt that.

O; Believe me Tenma, I would have gladly listened to you if you'd lent me an ear.

T; Would you?

O; Of course; I've always thought of you as a good colleague.

T; Even after all I've done to Astro?

O'Shay then falls silent

[Astro Forever]

O'Shay: ... Yes, I would have. If you had felt better, you could have made different choices, don't you think?

It was Tenma's turn to fall silent.

Tenma: I wouldn't have created Astro in the first place, so you can thank me for feeling this way.

O'Shay: Hem... Perhaps, but at that point, you had created a masterpiece. Why treat it so badly then?

Tenma: I had so much anger in me...

[Prettywitchiusaka]

T; I wanted to take him with me, to have him jopin me in my paradise. It didn't matter to me how long it took, even if he hadn't joined me at first, I would have done all in my power to make him mine.

O; But Tenma, didn't you ever stop to think that maybe it's not what he wanted?

T; Yes, but it didn't matter to me. I would have frozen this world in my anger before I would ever give him up.

O; Do you still feel that way?

T; No.

O; And why not?

T; He gave me a second chance...

[Astro Forever]

O'Shay: So that opened a new world for you?

Tenma: I guess, but which world? His world? It's a world I don't know anything about... I only know anger, sadness, rejection and loneliness. I can't understand his choice.

O'Shay: So, do you want us to explore other feelings?

Tenma: I don't know if I would ever be capable to put a name on them. I know of love, but I don't even believe in unconditional love. Argh! He should have left me die. I wouldn't be here, and I wouldn't have to think about these things...

[Prettywitchiusaka]

O; Is that why you wanted to die? So that you could avoid soliving your problems rationably?

T; Not exactly.

O; So why did you-

T; I thought I had no reason to exist anymore, no reason to continue on if I kept failing...

O; So then why stop for Astro's sake?

T; He showed me kindness...

O; Kindness?

T; Yes...He showed me kindness, and never once asked for anything in return...

[AprilSeven]

O: Hmmm . . . yes . . . [he hesitated, then looked into Tenma's eyes - his own are fighting back tears] . . . what Astro showed you was unconditional love.

Tenma looked up at Ochanomizu in shock.
Ochanomizu smiled gently, nodding...

O: Yes, Umataro, Astro's actions define "unconditional love." And you created him - so it seems there must be some part of you that does believe it exists, and from that point you can begin to rebuild your life.

[Astro Forever]

(Wow!)

Tenma was left unable to speak for a few minutes. Still in disbelief, he couldn't give up so easily.

Tenma: But... I had not foreseen that. That can't be from my doing. By that time, he had learned a lot from you.

O'Shay: He did, but I never taught him do to anything like this. Remember, I even tried to prevent him from reaching you at the ministry...

Tenma paused again.

Tenma: And you want me to rebuild my life, ah! How, exactly?

O'Shay: How about following Astro's example?

[Prettywitchiusaka]

T; I'm not sure if that's possible for me now O'Shay...

O; Sure it is; if you can start over, anyone can.

T; But how I can be certain that I don't destroy everything again.

O; Simple, you just have to look towards the future, that's all. Tenma, you've shown me that you're capable of learning from your mistakes.

Tenma stares at him for a biref period before speaking once more

[AprilSeven]

T: But I've screwed up every part of my life. Do you have any idea how overwhelming that is? Where do I start? What's most important? H-How do I even ---

Ochanomizu raised his hand to cut him off and barked
"You can't fix it all at once. If you think you can then you are a fool and undermining your own effort; assigning it to failure before you even start!"

Tenma drew several deep, calming breaths, but he was still physically shaking from the stress of displaying his complete vulnerability before the man who had basically usurped paternity of his son. Ochanomizu saw this struggle in Tenma's face, nervous breathing and trembling hands. He couldn't be sure if it came from fear, anger or both.

O: You need to take one small action - a single thing - to change. Just focus on this one action and let go of everything else. It could be as simple as clearing your desk, or calling Astro each day to see how he's doing. One small thing...